Baby got back

I'll stop the world & melt with you.

2007-08-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

It was peaceful and by far my best day in a really long time. You know how I mentioned that we were both getting weary about how busy we were? Today was the same. But after his tutorial, instead of doing other stuff, we just went out and relaxed somewhere really nice. Simply kick back our heels and do nothing. And we couldn't have gone to a better place. The Jamaican songs playing in the background, the refreshing Raspberry drink, the soft and sugary Cinnamon Roll and the many tourists made me feel like I was on holiday again. Back at, say, Pangkor and that any moment now, we could make our way to the soft sand and feel the waves lapping at our feet.

The best part of it all was that I was really really very touched that he had no complains about the abrupt change of plans and the "kicking back heels" was his idea.

I whistle a happy tune.

2007-08-27T14:06:00.000-07:00

Heya world! A quick update while I'm waiting for Mr H to finish his tutorials. The King and I ended yesterday. I'm a little sad, I've gotten so used to the songs and such. Last night was the final performance and we all managed to get tickets to watch. And what a performance! I found it alot better than the previous musical I watched, maybe because I know almost all the songs by hard, but probably because of all the humour injected into it. It can pretty much be renamed "The King of Siam and the Women who Loved Him" because at different points of the musical, you can really see how everyone really loves the king. They [especially his wife] acknowledge that he's stubborn and sometimes spoiled but they had such moving words to describe the man beneath all the facade. And yes, he IS very lovable! Him with his "Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera." Kay, you probably wouldn't understand unless you yourself saw the musical, haha.

And the part that they had the "play" was incredible too - the costumes were dazzling and the dances were so coordinated and so in tune with the music. It was really really awesome.

I teared up at some points, laughed aloud with the rest of the audience at others. I think another thing that made it nice was being able to meet some of the cast. They are gorgeous in real-life, I tell you. The pictures in the program don't do them justice. And the kids are all so cute!

Sales wise, I think we did a pretty good job since we sold all the soundtracks and most of the music scores and books. Before we left, we were given some souvenirs to keep, so hurray! :D

So that's that. Last night marked the end of the musical but if they ever come down to Singapore again, you can bet I'll be there. ;)

Half the fun is in finding out.

2007-08-26T11:18:00.000-07:00

I cancelled tuition this morning because I feel like everything's such a whirlpool - waking up early in the morning for this and that followed by this and that. Hahaha, my elaboration skills leave alot to be desired, don't they? ;) I think Hasyim's starting to feel weary too. It's like.. we just want to stop, roll over on our backs and stare up at the sky, doing nothing.

Anyhoo, met up with the girls yesterday morning. It was so much fun! Despite them all being later than me [haha ey, but at least Huda's there to balance the status quo, right, Shaza? =P], despite my breakfast to consist almost entirely of vegetables, it was good, not-so-clean fun.

We're meeting up on Friday again for some cheese-lovin' and I can't wait for that albeit the fact that I'll probably be really broke. Haha.

I don't have to tell you what this is all about,
'Cause baby half the fun is in us figuring it all out.

2007-08-23T10:49:00.000-07:00

I'm excited to go for SnB Welcome Tea, hopefully it'll go well later.

Yesterday I sat with the twins for lecture. Meghna saved a seat for me, thanks darl! It was funny, cause when I went in, I met Madhuri [who isn't even taking the lecture] and I wasn't sure whether there was a seat saved for me and when she asked another girl, the girl was saying there's a seat for 'Meghna's friend', and Madhuri turned to me and said, "That's you. Go!"

Haha kay, it doesn't sound as funny here but yeah :D.

Work yesterday was pretty good. The crowd wasn't alot [weekdays, waddya expect?] so I managed to squeeze in some quiet time between the shows.

Alrighty, it's time I get dressed.

2007-08-21T22:48:00.000-07:00

So why don't we go,
Somewhere only we know.

Fuuh! The Cardio Sculpt class was lots and lots of fun! Although it isn't as tiring as Amore.. but I guess the instructor's just trying to pace us. It's refreshing being in a room full of girls, sweating it out, [pardon the pun] again.

Tomorrow I'll have to work. :(. The sad face is cause, no matter how much fun I have while working, firstly it's not as fun without Hasyim and secondly, I hadn't planned on working tomorrow - it's just that they're really in need of people, for tomorrow night. Oh well. I wonder what the crowd will be like on a weekday.

Hello Young Lovers

2007-08-20T21:52:00.000-07:00

Hello young lovers, whoever you are,
I hope your troubles are few.
All my good wishes go with you tonight,
I've been in love like you.

Be brave, young lovers, and follow your star,
Be brave and faithful and true,
Cling very close to each other tonight.
I've been in love like you.

I know how it feels to have wings on your heels,
And to fly down the street in a trance.
You fly down a street on the chance that you meet,
And you meet -- not really by chance.

My my baby, please.

2007-08-20T01:38:00.000-07:00

Finally got my tutorial registration done. Well, kinda. I'm on the phone with Hasyim now, trying to coordinate our classes. Well, he is. I'm just listening and nodding along with whatever he says.

Instead of helping me lose weight, the prospect of being so near Mrs Fields and fast food outlets at Marina Sq is just way too tempting! Especially since we Esplanade people get discounts. :D.

I actually feel like getting The King and I original movie soundtrack, [my my, our customer "persuasion" means is starting to influence even me!] and we keep singing along to the songs. Come on, we've been listening to the tunes almost every night!

I've been so busy that the issue of Cleo is still unopened on my table. But the good thing about being so tired is that you simply collapse into bed and have one of the best sleeps ever. :)

- Picture taken at a carpark.

2007-08-19T01:43:00.000-07:00

Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like me.

Work was tiring, we got split up for the afternoon shift but the sales upstairs jumped by around $500! :D :D :D That made up for the lousy shift. The night shift downstairs was good though, we made more than $2600. Too bad we don't get commission, huh.

Hasyim had to leave after that but he was such a darling, he picked me up after my night shift with lots of food and sent me home. Tomorrow my mom and sis will be watching The King and I and I'm kinda jealous because I'm starting to get addicted to the songs and scenes.

Tomorrow's going to be a very very busy day what with tuition at 9am followed by 2 shifts at work.

2007-08-18T11:38:00.000-07:00

Uh oh. It's raining!

Words make me hot.

2007-08-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

I'm in my room, facing the balcony. Outside, the wind is sharp and crisp yet take in a refreshing, deep, breath and it soothes your nerves. The sky is light grey, with the slightest touch of blue and the smell of rain lingers in the air. It feels so serene.

This is my favourite moment - the calm before the storm.

On second thought, since I have to go to work later, please don't rain, please please please.

Music & Lyrics is a really sweet movie! I know this is long overdue, but I've only just seen it despite having the dvd since Jakarta. Even now, I watched it over the course of a few days, in bits and pieces because I've been really really tired, and I haven't had much free time, but even that didn't distract from how nice the movie was.

I think my favourite scene has got to be when he told her former lover off. It was so sweet - at that time, they still barely knew each other yet he knew her well enough to stand up for her and that was amazing. :) It's such a feel good movie.

What else? Oh yes. Watched Rush Hour 3 with Hasyim I think two days ago. It was filled with lots of laughter. Some parts seemed deep but "my brother from another mother" always saves the day, huh? Worth the moolah. Oh and after that, we managed to sneak into another cinema to catch the last [and sweetest] bit of License to Wed.

Work later. Am tired! Yesterday night, Esplanade was packed because of the fireworks. We were in the theatre foyer and we could hear all the booms from the fireworks but not the fireworks themselves, haha. At least my mom and sis managed to clinch tickets. My sister said she recorded it but I haven't seen the video. Hasyim and I got split up at work because they wanted to try to push sales in another booth and apparently we're too good. ;) Oh! And the cashier and I had to don King and I t-shirts to try to push more sales, haha.

Tuition tomorrow morning, followed by work at noon til midnight. SEE what I mean by being really busy? But nevermind, I'll be rich at the end of the month. :D

Past few days have been emotional but all's good now. :) I've been updating my little muse diary alot and reading through very old entries, and yeah, my mind's alot clearer now. Spent quite a bit crying on the phone with Hasyim [poor baby - what an issue he had to help me resolve] which helped me articulate my thoughts and later, Huda's words did more than just pick us both up. :) I remember feeling tons better the next morning and even found myself humming I'm feelin' so good in the shower, haha.

Love.

Times Square can't shine as bright as you.

2007-08-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all.

I miss the company of girls. Ooh! I signed up for Cardio Sculpting under the Health & Fitness Club - it's every Tuesdays, 7-8pm. 10 sessions for $40 is pretty cheap, isn't it? The only problem [which didn't occur to me when I signed up] would be when fasting starts, haha. I'll probably break for a drink then continue or something.

Am meeting Hasyim later, and I can't wait for that! You know, International Relations yesterday was tough! Especially cause I have no History background. When you state your intent to become a PS major, it's alright, but when you're in a room full of other PS majors, you get a little.. intimidated. Haha.

Psychology seems interesting as well. I really want to find my niche and excel in that. I don't think I'm doing very well in PS but it seems like a pretty good choice, what with the job scope and all.

I miss everyone! Grrr!

2007-08-15T21:53:00.000-07:00

I approached her, after summing up alot of nerve, with sincerely good intentions and being told off made me so shocked and sad but tonight I feel alot better thanks to people like Huda and Jannah. Oh well. I'll wash my hands.

I got my La Senza bra at 70% off from Faizah! She even put it in a gift bag for me. :) So I went to the welcome tea lugging alot of bags that so many people asked me where I had been out to before that, haha.

You can be my Cinderella.

2007-08-13T23:34:00.000-07:00

Today I drove Hasyim. But he parked. Then I drove back but we managed to avoid expressways because it's my first time driving without a member of my family present and I was scared because my mom can be very fierce when she wants to. She was strict to me and when Hasyim came over, suddenly, she was all smiles and charms. I swear, he has that effect on grown ups. :P

Got home, cleaned up my room a little... then I freaked out because school starts tomorrow! Well, okay. Want to know why I freaked out? Because I we lost control just now and bought a pair of really pretty but very expensive heels and I realize that damn, unless I get a good job in the future, I am really in big trouble.

ALSO, how much time do I possibly have to do readings when I have work on Friday nights, and the whole of Saturday and Sunday?

This innocence is brilliant

2007-08-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

...it's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming.
...it's the happiness inside that you're feeling.
...it's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry.

Every 60 seconds of sadness is a minute of happiness lost.

2007-08-12T00:44:00.000-07:00

Everyone seems to be taking Malays of Singapore! Haha, kays, I've gotten my new hp. It's a Nokia 5300. Not the latest model, but it'd have to do until I finish my contract.

SO I've just finished another day at work. Think I love the job. Despite it being really very tiring, it's still fun. I think we make a great team. :) And there's this guy from France who's here trying to improve his English and I think that's really brave of him. We showed him the rooftop at Esplanade just now.

I now have swollen toes thanks to standing in heels since 11am. But Hasyim actually gave me a foot massage behind the booth! :D

Tomorrow we've got the wedding to look forward to and then work again. Yippedy doo daa dayy!

School's starting. Whooeyy! I was supposed to pull up my CAP this semester but now everyone's telling me that 3 PS mods are pretty heavy. That's what I get for planning while overseas, huh.

Anyway, here are pictures from over a week ago. The first one was stolen from Shaza, hee hee.

Anyway I'm going to revamp my room! :) Watch this space for pictures!

Got somebody, she's a beauty.

2007-08-09T00:15:00.000-07:00

Sales is fun! It's tiring especially cause I'm in heels the entire time, it's a little scary facing irritable customers but when you get one who is so kind and returns your smile, it's one of the best feelings in the world.

I'm sitting here in my underwear because my feet ache too much to take the few steps to the bathroom for a shower. Tomorrow's National Day! I didn't really feel the spirit of things but at the Esplanade, there were several performances and rehearsals and I just sat there, reliving all the songs and patriotism. HAHA. Reliving the patriotism, huh.

Think I'm going to get some food.

Better put some clothes on first.

Sometimes, crazy's all right.

2007-08-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you meet somebody,
And you know that whatever you did before,
It must have been right...
Because nothing you've done could be too bad,
Or have gone too far wrong,
Because it led you to this person.

I'm happy and I'm content. Simply because I've found someone who loves me for who I am and who respects my decisions and feelings. I've run out of fancy or sweet rhymes but it's amazing, really. I never expected this and I'm not sure how it happened, but I do believe you're the best thing that has ever happened to me (!). Haha :)

You know, it always takes a bigger man to walk away. That makes him the smarter man as well because, time heals all wounds. Now we're no longer the hot topic, no longer have people placing bets on how long we'd last.

I remember one episode of OTH where Haley got the tattoo of the number 19 on her lower back and Lucas got angry but Haley said she didn't mind because no matter what happened, the tattoo would be a reminder of her happiness then.

And more often than not, that's all that matters.

Nirmala

2007-08-01T23:05:00.000-07:00

My cousin's wedding in KL was simple yet elegant and very very sweet. It took place over the course of 4 days, the last day was at a hotel in Shah Alam. I love the costumes and how it matched the decor.

Had lots of fun in KL but I'm now really tired. I'm waiting for all the pictures to be uploaded into Shutterfly but right now, I just want to catch 40 winks...

Good morning Angels.

2007-07-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

Today, today, was spent at East Coast. Hasyim got the car [yay!], so we had a helluva good time driving around. Well I think he's tired, but it was still fun. And blading really is a great workout, trust me. 2 hours will knock you out completely!

So we bladed with his friends, one who was an instructor so we sorta had a free lesson. :D T-brakes and learning how to do cross-overs were fun, especially when attempted by ambitious people. Me, I stick to the safe side. Sometimes admittedly too safe but I'll wait til I get the proper guards before I try out anything remotely.. dangerous.

After that, we had dinner at The Rice Table. Good food, we definitely stuffed ourselves. It was something like a buffet, and I think I was some sort a buffet newbie so, umm, I took alot of different food but only little bites out of each. Hehe, think it's a place with good ambience and an interesting concept. I suppose it works for the owners too, because what happens is that they serve you small portions of about 20 dishes and each time one dish finishes, they top it up for you - so they save on portions that way. And it works for us because we get to sample a great variety yet still get to 'focus' on a few. :)

When I look at the stars,
I feel like myself.

Okayy, I know I look very tembam. Haha! And I still refuse to take specifically food pictures.

Off to KL tomorrow. :) Bags aren't packed yet, but that's cause I'm really tired. Can't wait for the wedding(s)!

Sapphire and faded jeans.

2007-07-23T23:22:00.000-07:00

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon - so sweet.
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Tonight we met up at Simpang for dinner, after close to forever. It was alot of fun, especially when I found old photos of us in my wallet and we were reminiscing the awesome Cedar days. I can't wait for Huda to join us and hopefully through more casual meet-ups, a great friendship will be continued. =)

It's funny, how things change and how different we are now. We haven't kept in touch much but really, the reminiscing bit of tonight really made me feel warm. Maybe a mistake we made was not keeping in close touch over the years but I promise, things will change. ♥

Keeping it Real.

2007-07-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

Baby, baby, I'm sad.

Let's start off with my day, shall we? Dear Shaza came over and we baked a Strawberry Cheesecake together. It tastes pretty good, if I do say so myself. The only problem is that, I think, it's difficult for a cheesecake to be 'ready' because it's naturally very soft, so it's hard to tell when it's done and hard to remove it from the tin. Get what I'm saying? All in all, we did a pretty good job, especially for a first attempt. :)

But it's alot of fun! We headed over to Shop N' Save before that to buy the ingredients then made our way home. Admittedly, my kitchen is not bake-friendly, but we prevailed! Haha

My stomach's been acting up. And before you insist that it's because of the cake, let me clarify that no, it isn't - it's been acting up since morning and nobody else's stomach is acting up.

When my aunt came over, she ate two slices! We should bake again, refine our skills. ;)

I read a really great book recently. It's titled Under the Belly and I'm ashamed to admit that I almost skipped it because I've never heard of the author before and I couldn't be bothered to get used to another writing style. Chick lits are da bomb, seriously. They're funny and real and incredibly heartwarming. This author was really talented because I felt like I was really gaining insight into the character's life and it became so personal that I practically felt like I was reading a blog. I starting it after dinner and kept up with the reading the whole night. Sorry, Hasyim! Hehe :D

I'm listening to Take Me Away [accoustic] by Lifehouse so you should be able to guess at my mood. By the way, you should check out the accoustic version if you haven't had the chance because it's really good. :)

Anyway the following pictures were taken a few days ago. The place is gorgeous and I can't wait to go back. One day we'll have a picnic here, okay? When is Blogger going to have something similar to LJ-Cut? Sometimes my entries get abit lenghty.

I'm leaving for KL next Thursday. I've been going overseas alot this holidays, haven't I? I feel like it's easier to count the number of days I've been in Singapore more than the days I've been overseas. All my baju kurungs are packed for the wedding and I'm ready to go! I'm starting to get used to travelling, it gets pretty fun when done in short stints, haha. I still think Redang is one of the best places to go to, though. Can't wait to go back there.

I'm anticipating the start of next semester.

Looking through my pictures make me wish I bother more with makeup, haha. Not wearing makeup is bad for us when we take pictures! Especially when you've got splotchy skin, like me. But makeup is very, very bad for my skin! I tried wearing alot of it a couple of days back and now I've got a huge breakout. And I think, I'm finally going to admit defeat. Some of us just don't work well with makeup. Grrr.

Touché, Mother Nature. Just please clear up these spots and scars and I promise to stay away from pretty pots of blushers and the entire range of foundation/concealer/compacts.

I'm not saying anything about eyeliners/eyeshadows/lip gloss... yet. Haha ;)

I've seen it all and it's never enough,
it's keeps leaving me needing you.

Don't give up on me,
don't forget who I am.
I'm not I'm not there yet,
but don't let me stay here alone.

The Golden Rule.

2007-07-15T23:27:00.000-07:00

People are interesting to watch.

You watch, wait and you wonder what they're going to do next and most of the time, they surprise you.

People don't usually let you down. If you look around, if you look hard enough beyond the bricks you've erected, you'll see so many good hearts and willing hands. Only the foolish and the weak think they're alone.

Every story has it's own message woven into it. Every movie, even if it's a chick flick, has a message. As you move through life, you realize that there are alot of people who have "been there, done that." Yet your experiences are unique to you and make you who you are.

--------------------------------

On a different note, I went to Lulu's brother's wedding just now. Lulu and Este were really pretty, as usual. I liked the pelamin because it looked very different - very contempory. The thing is, whenever I attend weddings, I start imagining how mine will look like and what I want then I quickly tell myself to shush because I don't want to spoil the fun of planning [when I do get the chance to plan] by planning now. Get? I mean, I know, there's nothing wrong with drawing up plans and ideas on how you'd want it to be but I don't want to give it too much thought for now.

My room is in a complete mess. I desperately need to tidy up, especially before school starts. You know, think I'm now hooked on travelling. Remember how I was initially so reluctant to go to KL/Jakarta/Bali? If you give me the chance to go again, I'd probably jump at it. But you know, I don't usually travel so many times. It's just cause my mom's free as a bird, and well, since it's the holidays, so am I, so I'm the one she lugs around. [HAHA I sound like luggage, don't I?] So in a way, guess I'm looking forward to the upcoming KL trip.

See ya, loves! :)

--------------------------------

@ the lobby.

@ Sentosa.

@ Raffles.

@ the train station.

I'm a blonde! [In Jakarta.]

@ Ayam Bakar Ojolali.

Before the wedding.

After the wedding.

The pictures were taken over a long period of time, that's why my hair colour 'could change', haha. I don't remember if I've mentioned this in a previous entry but my hair is now a highlighted blonde/brown/ash. Heh. I'm not too sure of the exact tone but I did it in Jakart for a really low price. :) WELL. Majority of my family members hate it so I think I'll be covering it soon, but for now, I'm just enjoying the change, haha.

Jannah just asked why I don't have more pics of my hair. Hmmm. Maybe I'll take more soon, but for now, ciaoz!

Redang.

2007-07-11T13:02:00.000-07:00

I had the most incredible, awesome trip ever.

Firsty up, about the pictures: the first two are of everyone eating durians which we got a guy to bring over from Kuala Terengganu. I don't eat durians, so..
The last two, well, I didn't know they were taken. The guys took it when I left their table for a while, haha, and I only found them now. And seriously, I have very few pictures. I think I was having too much fun, drinking in everything that I didn't really take pictures. Besides, Mihkaail and Azmyr had their cameras ready.

To a large extent, the fun I had was due to the company. But the Berjaya Redang beach was gorgeous too. My aunt said it's almost as good as the Maldives. Almost, haha. You can walk out almost 50 metres and the crystal clear water will only be as deep as your waist, with fishes swimming around you.

One amazing thing that happened, happened yesterday, when I got on the paddle boat with Azmyr and Mihkaail. We paddled all the way to another beach! It was just us on that empty, uninhabited beach. It felt almost surreal - as though we were the survivors from Lost or something. When we were leaving the beach, the waves kept pushing us back to shore so Azmyr jumped out and he actually pushed us, together with the paddle boat a short distance against the waves before jumping in himself. Like, whoa!

The banana boat ride was scary but fun! My past experiences with banana boat rides did not prepare me for this one because banana boat rides are traditionally very mild rides. Aren't they? I went on this one with Madz, Myrza and Mihkaail and Mihkaail very gallantly allowed me to sit in front. Hah! The front is the worst! My fingers were so stiff from hanging on, okay! I was so scared that I would topple over into the sea because we went really far out and the waves were SO choppy and wild. There was even one part where the driver cleverly made the tip of the banana boat submerge, and well, guess who was in front? ME! So I almost went in! Haha! The guys behind me kept shouting at the driver to go faster and they later guessed he went at at least 40 knots [whatever that means] so yeah. I was having fun, don't get me wrong, but I was so afraid of falling in. Fuuuh! Apparently banana boat rides can get quite dangerous, especially if you fall in because you can end up breaking your arm or something. Seeing how rough the sea was, I really could understand why.

Snorkelling. I didn't really follow them on their snorkelling trip because I got sick after the first stop, which was a pity because at the first stop, it was 10 feet deep but my cousins said that the second stop had really pretty corals and was much shallower. The next day, it was just Azmyr and I at the Marine Park and damn, the waves were choppy. I was scared that I couldn't swim in those waters but the boatman helped me for a bit. The water was kinda murky though, so we couldn't see much. But when he wanted to bring me to a deeper [and much choppier] portion which had nicer corals, I refused, but Azmyr went with him and I think they dived a little as well to see some big fishes hiding under the rocks.

I learnt how to play pool and table tennis. Madz, Myrza and Azmyr are really good at pool. They have all their different angles and aims! Madz taught me and Mihkaail, and we kept playing against each other because "we have our own system that works". But during the game that Madz taught us, it was funny because he was doing all the aiming for us, haha. Watching Azmyr play table tennis with his dad in a friendly, competitive game, was good fun as well. Apparently they used to have a table tennis table and would play every night after dinner.

The trip to Laguna was interesting because of the boat rides, organized by Joe Glamour. The boats were the old, rickety kind - very dangerous + very fun. Hahaha, crossing over rocking boats, feeling the spray of the seswater and lots of fresh wind made for an unforgettable experience. Apparently, Laguna is supposed to be a more happening place but I prefer the beach at Berjaya because the waters are alot clearer and it's less crowded.

So yepp, basically, it was one of my best trips ever. :) Let's end on this happy note, shall we? Now it's time for lunch.

2007-06-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

Hey world, a quick update.

I'm currently in Bali. We're leaving for the beach soon. It's beautiful here, I've forgotten how cultural everything is. I can't wait to watch the dances. ;)

Jakarta was alright. Interesting, really. Getting pickpocketed on the first day there put a damper on my mood but it's OKAY. My hp's gone but I'm still here [or there] and that's what matters, right? :)

Everything's really cheap there, it's almost a ripoff. I've got 11 dvds for less than $10 so let's hope the quality's good.

Alrighty, time to bathe.

Bye!

Such a lovely place, such a lovely face.

2007-06-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.

Goodbye, Singapore. I'll be leaving for the airport at 1.30pm and I'm... resigned to it. I think it's just that I haven't been meeting up with everyone so I don't feel like I want to leave the country just yet.

Nevermind, I don't want to talk about it.

Oh well, hope that job's still waiting for me when I return.

A key that could use a little turning.

2007-06-24T22:55:00.000-07:00

My mom's birthday is on the 26th of June, but we'd be in Jakarta then [:(] so we celebrated today with a lunch at Sanur. Noreen was kind enough to treat us and yay, the food was delicious.

Her friend who came over to discuss their project actually bought my mom a cake. Can you believe how sweet that gesture was? She did it on her own accord, without anyone asking and refusing to accept payment. =)

So yepp. My grandfather joined in for a picture and that made it all very funny firstly because he had to be given explicit instructions to not blow out the candles and secondly, when he saw the big "P" [the cake was from Prima Deli], he assumed we had gotten the cake from Pertapis. My sister's friend almost fell off the sofa laughing at all the kecoh-ness.

Don't ask me why his mouth was wide open, haha.

This was her element,

2007-06-23T07:44:00.001-07:00

this was her friend.

'Sup, sexycats! This is where I'll be staying at in Bali. It looks good, doesn't it? It's an apartment really, not a hotel which means it's more affordable because it doesn't have hotel facilities and services. All the same, it does look pretty.

I'm whacked after dropping by at Hasyim's friend's chalet. Hmmm they're a bunch of fun people but but but I don't understand them because they speak Malay way too fast! I spent most of my time just staring interestedly from one party to another, haha.

Yeppers, I'm trying to look on the bright[er] side of going overseas. Manicures, pedicures in Jakarta perhaps? Lounging on the beach in Bali? You hate me, doncha? Haha =p.

I was looking through my pictures and upon stumbling upon the Social Night pictures.. I miss my hair then! Kay, what I miss is, styling my hair and dressing up. Hehehe I miss taking pride in my appearance. :D

I've been thinking...

2007-06-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

and I don't quite like what I've been thinking. But let's move on to sunnier pastures, shall we?

I like spending time with my cousins, yessir I do. I think it's because I rarely get to spend much time with them that I really treasure the time I do spend with them and sometimes things end up being wildly funny.

It also gives me a break from all things Singaporean and high-maintenance.

Can't wait for Redang. :D

"In need of a fresh start"

2007-06-21T23:21:00.000-07:00

This entry is a cumulative one - it's a result of several days of mindless scribbles, being uploaded at one shot. So if it doesn't make much sense, then, oops! Haha.

Karen Armstrong is inspirational. To be honest, we were really having second thoughts whether or not we should go and in the end, I'm really glad that we went. Inspirational not only because the talk made sense but because it made me want to be like her. I want to be as well read, as accomplished as that lady, who sat up there, occasionally dissing politicians [Dr Yaacob Ibrahim was being a good sport beside her, haha], telling us to look deep into our inner selves, live with compassion and be guided by The Golden Rule.

So I've started work. Albeit it's only for a few days and it's with my sister but all's good. The work is tiring but a helluva lot of fun - I think Hasyim and I work well together because we managed to finish everything before the allocated time. I think this is the perfect job for me because:
1) It's only for a few days which is perfect since I'll be leaving soon.
2) I get to work with someone I like...
3) and my sister. HAHA, she's a good boss. Really. She won't distract you while you're counting flyers! =P.

So watch out for The King and I, yo. If you do decide to go, remember who helped, hahaha.

Anyway, about the overseas trip(s). It's not just Jakarta now, but Jakarta for a few days followed by a domestic flight to Bali to meet up with my uncle and some cousins there. Back to Singapore for a few days followed by Redang with many more uncles and cousins, then back to Singapore again for another few days and finally KL.

It's not something I'm looking forward to for many reasons. :( We've shed so many tears and I've had so many sore eyes [after crying] and yes, I will go, but not because I want to but because I have to. Did that sound a little weird? If it did, it's just cause I don't want to outwardly state my reasons, haha.

I'm feeling apathetic. I figure, in a twisted way, the long trip coming up is good because it will let me clear my head. Sometimes, space is good. Nyeheheh.

I think tomorrow might be our last day of work. Maybe, only. Hopefully not because it is quite fun, mindlessly routine, but still quite fun. Gathering documents and now having a favourite stapler is new to me. Work's also interesting because of my crossing paths with office folk [like SECURITY GUARDS] who are usually very irritable. I reckon being cooped up all day does wonders for your personality. But it's just fascinating, the different characters you meet and while walking around the area, I've discovered completely new places in Singapore. Well, then, that should come as no surprise because I don't really know my way around this island but but but still, the quaint shops around the area and multitude of pubs create a colourful variety that really makes me wonder where I've been all this while, haha.

What is my job, exactly? I'd like to call myself an [unofficial] personal assistant. :D

Tuesday's looming. I'll leave on the 26th, return approximately on the 12th of July. 2 weeks here and then KL.

Won't you say goodbye?

I'll fight and defend.

2007-06-16T01:39:00.000-07:00

One night, the moon said to me.
"If he makes you cry, why don't you leave him?"
I looked at the moon and said,
"Moon, would you ever leave your sky?"

-------------------------------------

Gotta admit, S.W.A.T is one of my favourite movies. Action flicks, man, bring it on! Bring on the fights, the attitude, the tight, taut, toned bodies.

Hondo: Technically, our watch has been over for 12 hours.
Street: So?

Lips of an Angel.

2007-06-15T16:47:00.000-07:00

I'll be leaving for Jakarta on the 26th for about a week and a week upon my return, will be heading for Pulau Redang. After that, it's back to KL. I'm not quite looking forward to the former as it's more of an obligatory trip, and I doubt I'll have much fun because I'll probably be the youngest, visiting complete strangers.

I don't have much of a choice though, I have to go. It was a funny, emotional night we had last night which consisted of me coming up with a list of reasons why I didn't want to go and which ended with my dad hugging a crying me. It seems like no big deal now, but yesterday, it was an enormous deal. :P

So okay. Maybe there are some things daughters have to do for their mothers.

Today, I did nothing but read. Read, read and read. I have a headache now [well not anymore, after I popped painkillers] but I'm eager to finish up the book. It's not bad. There are other Irish writers who are good but this one makes for an interesting read as well.

Of quiet musing

2007-06-11T18:54:00.000-07:00

Be the man I know you are and not the boy they want you to be.

I think staying home with this bad headache and fever that is just about to go down is giving me too much thought time.

I feel, wasted. All of a sudden, I feel like I've been given a terrific opportunity to be at university and I'm wasting it all by not living up to my potential. Reading through past transcrips and testimonials makes me realize that maybe I wasn't so bad, back then, when I really wasn't so bad. Haha. Being drunk on all this new found freedom has made me complacent and irreverent towards my books and notes.

There was this article on elitism quite some time back in the papers and a girl mentioned that being in a prestigious JC shattered her self-confidence and caused her to perform less well than was expected of her. I think I felt that way before. I mean, how could I possibly be smart when around me there were people who could, for example, score as many as eleven destinctions at his A-levels? Or people who could be both an OGL and a triple science student with three special papers. Then there I was, supposedly smart, yet struggling to cope and remain afloat amidst these really smart people.

How silly could I have been? Saying that's an insult to everyone who has ever worked hard for anything. And I see now that her mentioning that is simply a way of informing the world that she has a bad attitude - that she chose to let her surroundings define her.

There will always be people better than me, people prettier or more popular than me. That I can count on. But I can also count on the fact that I, am what I can count on. [Does that make sense?] Believing in myself is important. Pushing myself to fulfill my dreams for no one other than myself, to reap rewards simply because I want to is a more powerful force than if someone else wants me to. When I want to, I do better than when I have to. Self-motivation is a matter of choice.

Never be afraid of a challenge. Never be afraid to give it your all.

And the same experience can create two different types of people. Maybe instead of feeling lousy at college, I could have taken that as an indication for me to spur myself on to greater heights. I didn't and I'm fed up with maybe(s).

I've got this blood coursing through my veins and hell [or heaven?], I'm going to make things work this time around.

I think we just need some constant reminders to believe in ourselves. The next step would be to turn that belief, that faith, into action. It isn't going to be easy. But it's going to be for me. And that's more than enough reason to stick to it.

2007-06-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

Looks like I won't be going anywhere today.

Dance for yourself;

2007-06-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

if someone understands, then, good. If not, then no matter, go right on doing what you love.

I listened to the BBC this morning for a little while, sprawled across my parents' bed. Lovely accents, haha.

Sometimes it's difficult to get off your high horse once you've climbed on it. Sometimes you just want to scream at everyone to stop and give you some breathing room because, simply because, you want it. You don't care if you're being unreasonable, if you're being whiny or simply throwing a tantrum because you just want it and damnnit, is that so difficult?

Listen up:

2007-06-09T00:21:00.000-07:00

But don't even bother to think of me. Because even your fantasy of me? Isn't interested in you.

Livin' on a prayer -

2007-06-07T23:21:00.000-07:00

We're halfway there,
livin' on a prayer,
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear.
Hello world. The view's dandy from KL, haha. Anyway I'm on the path to make ammends with some. An apology's a bitter pill to swallow but it's got to be done. Everything else I have to say about PB, I'll reserve for when we meet up.

Apart from that, it's amazing the things you learn or rather, discover when you work with people. You learn about other sordid tales going around [honestly, do people really have nothing better to do?] and you learn alot from how people handle things as well. There's this song by Bowling For Soup - High School Never Ends and it fits because hey, people will always always always talk.

After being in such an environment for a very large part, I've learnt not to care. I mean, some of it still hurts, but then such incidents have a silver lining - you learn who your true friends are and you form better friendships along the way. =) Like after that night, Kamie and Ruz called me to talk things over and that helped alot. You also learn not to take alot of things for granted and that sometimes you just can't please everyone [because there really are some very weird people on this planet!].

After all, as Oscar Wilde said, "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

Beauty fades but ugly is to the bone.

2007-06-06T15:05:00.000-07:00

Personal hiatus. To work on the things I love.

Oh sweet, with the rest of the holidays stretching out in front of me...

It's time for some good lovin'. :)

My baby you,

2007-06-06T14:07:00.000-07:00

are the reason I could fly.

My parent's anniversary was on the 3rd of June and they celebrated 37 years of marital bliss. We made it into a surprise, my sisters and I - my oldest sister [the incredible cook] whipped up very very delicious nasi briyani and we ate on the terrace. On her command [yes, she's bossy sometimes :P], we carried the kitchen table out to accomodate the many dishes.

Dinner was, let me say this once again, very good. She even had to go back to the kitchen to top up on the rice. The ayam merah was mmhmmm, da bomb. Haha :D

After dinner, came the surprise. We had gotten her a brownie cake from Mrs Fields, which is really one of the best brownies I have ever tasted. Then came a card from the three of us. I think my parents were touched because they didn't expect us to do this for them. It's the first time the three of us collaborated to do this.

I tell you, lugging a huge cake box all the way from Lavender home was horrible but they're happiness made it all worth it. But in the photos above, my dad looks pretty stiff, huh? Hmmm.

What made my mom really tear up was receiving a card from my dad. She creeped into my room, beaming from ear to ear, almost tearing up and almost squealing because she was so happy. She said it's the first card she received from him in a long, long time. :D

Here's to happy years ahead!

I wear a halo when you look at me.

2007-06-02T22:33:00.000-07:00

I never promised you a ray of light
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday
I give you everything I have, the good, the bad

Why do you put me on a pedestal
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below
So help me down you've got it wrong
I don't belong there.

One good thing that's coming out of all this is that the three of us are getting closer, haha.

So alright, I'm off in a bit to meet Hasyim and get lightsticks. By tonight, the finalizations for Fright Night will be completed and the ever-changing list of helpers will hopefully stick.

The Sweet Escape

2007-06-02T22:12:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, in the midst of everything, it's nice knowing that there are people there for you. An unexpected message from an unexpected someone showing they care is always sweet. In the end, it's your friends who make it all worth it. Acknowledgement from strangers amounts to nothing compared to the support you get from the people who matter.

And of course, Hasyim's always there for me at the end of the day.

I'm just putting in this final burst of effort for that one night. After that, it's auf wiedersehen for me. I've been keeping mum about this for quite some time and have given it much thought. It's not simply a case of bad attitude nor is it so much about loyalty among friends. It's not even a case of giving credit where it's due because none of us asked for it.

It's a case of bad judgement and a bad call, with no move to make ammends leading to my decision to stay away.

My love, forever.

2007-05-29T23:56:00.000-07:00

KL was awesome. :)

The picture was taken at my uncle's house, where we stayed [it's two houses connected by a swimming pool, zowee!].

I think I have never enjoyed a trip to KL as much as I had this time. Okay, admittedly the kids drove me a l-i-t-t-l-e crazy but they were still so adorable and I did have fun. Joking around with them, laughing with them and what nots. I've got videos but we'll see if I get around to uploading them.

The KL Eye was okay. It got a little boring because it was 8 rounds, for God's sake. But at least Qusya was there. The picture above is us with two of my uncle's four kids. Then we tried taking the KTM for the first time ever all the way to Klang, haha. The kids were pretty sporting about it, [although they did fall asleep for the most part].

That was on Saturday. On Sunday we went to KLCC then Mid Valley again then my aunt took us out for tea at her place. After that we met up with my other relatives and yay, got to meet Azmyr after what - 5 years? They're going to Pulau Redang this hols! My mom is still unsure if we're joining them.

T'was fun. Gotta say I'm kinda starting to like KL now. I think what always deterred me in the past was the long rides [a no-no for someone with motion sickness] but now rides within KL don't seem as bad. And I love the messiness of the place. Singapore seems too orderly. KL seems... different, somehow.

But like my aunt said, security there's a bitch. Which was scary because my aunt chided my mom for putting her bag on the seat beside her and I heard that now, thefts occur even when your bag is on your lap! Very-the-daring thieves, heh.

Results wise - I suppose I did better than I expected. Not good enough but better than expected. Headaches and nuances whatsoever will be kept a secret, for now.

Kiss me, smile for me.

2007-05-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

Whoot!

Hello world, I'm in KL!

I think I like it here, everything seems so different and more exciting, somehow. Although we haven't been going out much, tomorrow we're going on the huge ferris wheel, so yay! The kids are [surprisingly] lovable, and so innocent that it's so amusing.

I think I'm going to have alot to do when I get back to Singapore, regarding PB but hopefully everything will pull through for that. Over the course of the next few months, I'll be going overseas alot more. Initially I was reluctant to even come to KL but now I love it here. :D

Yesterday we shopped at Masjid India in the morning [where I snapped the picture above] and in the afternoon went over to MidValley. I finally got my MAC lipbalm. :) It's so much fun browsing with my mom, trying to "irritate" rude salesgirls along the way and stuff, HAHA. Can't believe how sporting my mom is.

Oh! And I've finished one of my library books! I started with the Cathy Kelly one, of course. It's hard to deny the urge to read a novel by one of your favourite authors. :D

Technically I have 2 more KL trips, 1 Jakarta trip and a potential trip to Morocco coming up. Seems like alot, doesn't it? I don't have to go for all that, but my mom's free and she might want company. Let's just hope the trip to Morocco happens. :)

Results will be out tomorrow. I'm not expecting much because I know I didn't do too well especially for that political science module - but - you know how even though you don't expect much, you can't suppress that faint glimmer of hope that somehow it will all still be okay? Yeppers. So, let's pray it'll be okay.

I wonder if I'll ever see you again.

2007-05-22T23:54:00.000-07:00

All my bags have been packed,

I'm off!

See you in a few days, dolls.

2007-05-19T23:47:00.000-07:00

I just have to say that Meghna, sometimes you're so lovable and sweet, :).

And the trip to France? Yes, yes, yes. We can do it together. And Jannah! French next semester, perhaps? Haha :)

The sweet truth.

2007-05-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

Someday someone will walk into your life
and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.

Hellooo nurse!

2007-05-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

So today we went to the museum. God, I can't remember the last time I went there, probably for some school excursion or something, haha. Anyway we had a great time, as usual. Met him after his gym session [haha! :D], then we walked over. The exhibition this time around was - Under the Crescent Moon, which shows the "rich cultural heritage" of the Arab world.

Initially we got distracted by this really cool thing near the entrance which captures your image onto a larger screen, albeit a grainy one. He was pretty smart at capturing the shot of us facing the camera but I like this one better. Haha =D Oh and I liked the "future projections" of what Singapore would be like, once everything was built - what with the IR, the bridge at Marina Bay and such. Hopefully it will look as pretty as all it's projected to be.

We couldn't take pictures at the exhibition itself. But I remember there was one section which showed the "uglier" side of the cultures. Also there was a separate room which had somewhat disturbing images - if I'm not wrong, it reflected the civil war in Lebanon and the images were pretty distressing. Distressing because I hate to think that people are actually living like that.

The one exhibit that moved me the most was the one which showed young boys playing with one another, which might seem harmless except that they were pretending to kill one another, learning how to slaughter each other. It was really gory. They were just playing but the fact that they were kids really made me cringe. And not only that but there was a video just above that one which showed a single solitary, elderly woman [presumably their mother] just staring straight ahead, looking as though she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

So yeah, pretty deep stuff.

All that aside, after that, we had our mini-tea [from Sakura, thank you very much].

Then on to view the "illusion" outside Robinsons...

... before going over to Clarke Quay. It's really gorgeous at night. Going there happened because one of the pictures at the museum showed the night life there which looked really beautiful and vibrant so we decided to head over and capture shots for real. He took most of the pictures cause he's got much steadier hands than me, haha. I've decided not to put them all up for fear of clogging up the page, haha!

So yepp, a great day, well spent. :) I think I've become a museum convert. I can't wait for the next exhibition! Maybe we could all go together next time?

[Phew, long entry, am shagged!]

Heart of a gladiator.

2007-05-17T21:59:00.000-07:00

Can't you see baby, this is perfection?

Last night when we went to pick my sister up from the "scary part", I was really hyper. Earlier last night, I was showing my mom all the bellydance moves and making her try it out and even trying to convince her that Shakira is hot.

So the entire way to the "scary part" and back, we were singing loudly - Latino! Africano! Asiatico! Americano! Tu Dios te esta mirando! - and were having so much fun.

Then the neighbour's dog barked really loudly at us and the three of us screamed, hahaha.

I know we must have been really annoying but it was so rowdy and exhilirating :D.

Hey Julie,

2007-05-17T21:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I catch myself staring into space
Counting down the hours 'til I get to see your face

I'm in a feel-good mood. You know, I wish I could cook. I want to be one of those people who can salvage even the nastiest of nasty [haha] instead of being among the few who create the nasty.

Anyway I cleared my table. It's alot cleaner now! Doesn't look like the messy picture you see on your right anymore! Hahaha, but that's just cause I stuffed loads of items into the drawers.

You know, I really hope to visit France. :) Maybe in a year's time? Who knows - that dream might just come true.

And because I'm just bored...

2007-05-17T14:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, it's a little scary seeing so many people visit my blog or to see who exactly visits my blog, because I wonder what they think, haha.

So okay, I went for Belly Dance just now. The instructor said I did really well! I'm glowing right now, yay! Although I think some of my movements seemed a little stiff and looked rather strange in the mirror, hahaha.

I've been pigging out on chocolate ice-cream to no end. My mom just warned me that if I don't cut down, I'm going to be even fatter. One day, I swear, I'm going to explode, haha.

Pop goes Shahira.

Hahaha.

2007-05-16T23:18:00.000-07:00

You fucked up, girl. There's no use prettying it up. When it's as... ugly as all that. When you're as ugly as all that.

Call me a safe bet,

2007-05-15T11:13:00.000-07:00

I'm betting I'm not.

When friends don't pull through, I guess that's where family comes in. =)

Lulu and Meghna might consider joining Amore, so yay! Amore should pay me, okay. Over the years, I've introduced so many girls I've lost track of. Amore = fun, fitness, friends!

And I just spoke to my mom and sister over a hearty meal of macaroni about it. [Haha] I figure they're right - people who are continually envious of you can't be your close friends. Because envy is usually laced in spite.

I don't get it with the jealousy bit. It's not as though my life is so brilliant. Instead of being happy for me or supporting me, must you put me down? Can't you simply realize you're happier off being content with your own life? There's no need to compete; not with a friend, not with me.

I'm glad that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

Let Me Love You - Mario.

2007-05-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

Everywhere you go they stop and stare,
Cause you're bad and it shows.
From your head to your toes,
Out of control,
Baby you know.

I don't know what possessed me to go online and search for this video all over again. And I know this is kinda an old song, but I love it. I like the part towards the end when he dances with her, but I can't help but go, "Hands off, bitch!" Haha :D

Ooh, we just watched Cages on Hallmark. That movie was really moving, and I like the photography. Kay, I don't know the correct term for it, but I like the images and all. It's a local production and it was impressive.

Happy Mother's Day, all!

2007-05-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

I'm watching you watch over me,
I've got the greatest view from here.

We went to Secret Recipe! Just us four ladies. The day started out bright and early with a trip to the cemetary [all the way to Jalan Bahar and I drove!]. After that, we went for a short drive to Changi Coast with my grandfather. I reckon he just wanted to get out of the house and I was more than welcome to oblige because it would, of course, mean that I'd get to drive again, and driving there is simple pimple compared to scary expressways with mean drivers and curving roads.

We only had dessert there, we didn't get any of the main course. I had the Chocolate Banana cake which I had been craving for since forever. Mom had her Baked Cheesecake because the marble cake was all finished :(. Ana had Chocolate Indulgence and Noreen very cleverly decided to go for a Shepard's Pie because she knew we'd have an overdose of sweetness. True enough, the Shepard's Pie was the favourite among us. Haha :)

Hope mom had a good time because she really deserves it. She's the strongest, kindest woman I know and I'm lucky if I can be just like her when I grow up.

You know, I think it's a sign that today, on Mother's Day, I got my period. Hahaha.

YA.

2007-05-12T23:03:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Shah's birthday and he has field camp. :( But whatever it is, hope he's happy. Kay that might be wishful thinking, so I just hope he's... content. He taught me the importance and depth to that word.

Apart from everything, I think with my period looming, I have all these emotions raging underneath me so I'm in a mixed up personal state. I feel like I need to write things out, to clear my thoughts. Feels like forever since I last wrote a deep entry, heh.

But now's not the time.

Like, wow. Time sure flies, doesn't it? Sometimes I wonder what the future will bring. When I do, I always wonder what will happen if I cross paths with someone from my past - what we will remember, how we will pick up from there. I wonder if my life now will seem like it's from another life. That term was used in a movie I caught on Hallmark recently: when the girl was reluctant to give up her baby for adoption, the lady simply told her that in a few years, it'll all seem as though it's from someone else's life. Don't some things feel that way at times? It's so easy to get swept away with the tide. Or when you visit an old place or hear an old song, doesn't it suddenly bring back all the memories? As the memories flood back, so does the awkwardness: you don't know quite how to act anymore. My mom recently told me certain tales about her youth that I'm having trouble [but also fun] connecting to the "conservative" lady I know, haha. It makes me wonder whether all these experiences and escapades of mine will be long gone when I'm older.

K whatever, told you this isn't a night for clear thoughts.

In darkness she is all I see.

2007-05-12T19:20:00.000-07:00

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would bring me back to you,
That someday it would bring me back to you.

This morning I mentioned wanting to change my bedsheets because it has been forever since I had fresh sheets and my mom finally agreed. When she pulled any ol' combination out of the wadrobe this morning, I remember whining that it probably wouldn't match but I think it turned out okay, don't you? Ah but I think I'm getting my period soon and I'll be damned if they're stained. :P

Kay. Today I went for the ABT lesson and it nearly killed me! I emerged from the class with almost every part of my body aching, muscles I never knew I had, burning. Haha!

Didn't go for the Hip Hop lesson in the end as I was too tired. I don't think I've been losing much weight but I sure as hell have been discovering new muscle groups! :D Caught the movie 28 Weeks Later, which is pretty moving. Scary but moving. :) I love stories with alot of jumbled up plots, especially those with a twist at the end, like Saw 2. If you're that kind, then consider watching Fracture. Some movies are simply brilliant.

Then again, sometimes I just love watching love stories with cliched happy endings just for the hell of it. I also love watching scary movies which scare the hell out of me [although I'll do research on it later and get frustrated if I don't understand the particular ghost or what-nots involved]. And I love action flicks, aka Die Hard 4. Can't miss that one either!

I think I'm a movie freak, muahaha.

Am getting my tuition pay soon, yo! I'm planning to start saving up for that trip. Want it to happen, really I do. I want it to happen like I've never wanted anything to happen. :)

BOO!

2007-05-11T22:34:00.000-07:00

Today I did kickboxing and man, I didn't realize how much I missed it. Kay, confession time: When the class was about to start, I was like, "Uh oh," referring to my previous experiences at kb where it really [and I mean really] tired you out. But when it did start, I realized how much I enjoyed the shouts from the other women and the aggresiveness on a whole. I think the instructor just now was really good too. There was once during the abs-conditioning bit where he really pushed me and he went, "Can you feel it?" To which I replied, "Uh..yeah," [cause by that time I was trying to persevere through burning abs] and I think he was amused because he kept asking, heh. And his words [some of encouragement] throughout the workout were pretty funny and I especially loved the way he actually went through technique.

The funniest and most amazing thing happened when I walked into Amore though. I bumped into the girl I was tutoring! We started talking and she mentioned her dad's in the travel agency business and I mentioned my mom was looking for one and it turns out that the previous agency they had was the one my mom always frequented! Not only that but I think her dad also does something with another organization which always holds events at where my dad is currently working. Now is that a coincidence or is that a coincidence? Haha.

So tomorrow we're going for Hip Hop together. Hurray, now I have a friend. :)

Anyway I just came home. Met Hasyim after work then we headed to the beach for dinner and a stroll. Made friends with a cat along the way too, haha.

I am, exhausted.

2007-05-10T20:11:00.000-07:00

So today we went to Parkway with the little Mister. The pictures were taken at Banquet when my aunt and mom decided, yet again, that they wanted ice kacang, haha. Later on, we bought ingredients for the pizza I was planning to make. Ultimately, the pizza turned out just okay. I mean, how ok could it be with just the simplest of simple ingredients? I suppose it was a nice dish to whip up for a change. Especially for non-chefs like me. :D

I feel lethargic. I think it's because day in and day out, I'm free. Well not so free because my sister and I are helping my mom run errands and she is just a bundle of energy. She goes out in the morning, comes home to pray Dzohor then goes out again. Sometimes it's hard just keeping up with her! But it's all good because it keeps me somewhat busy.

Also the entire business with the holidays is driving me crazy. First, a KL trip. Then, a Jakarta trip. Then now, maybe Bali. Or as of 5 minutes ago, maybe NOT Bali. Then maybe Jakarta again. It sucks getting your hopes up, because personally, I'm okay with jet-setting anywhere. I can pack in a flash and be all ready to go. *gives pointed look to Mom* At least Morocco is 75% confirmed. Heh. :P

This entry is written in a lousy mood because I feel like I'm getting fatter and fatter until one day, I'm really going to pop! Oh nevermind, tomorrow I'll work up enough will-power for a run. I'm going to work my ass off, literally.

And my my, the princesses at Number 33 have been keeping their paws busy, haven't they?

2007-05-10T13:09:00.000-07:00

I'm here if you want me,
I'm yours, you can hold me.

Lovely.

2007-05-09T15:09:00.000-07:00

Last night we ate dinner on the terrace.

So hey, check this blog out. It's really cool. ;)

Hey, they forced me to create one for them. I just couldn't say no. Hahaha :D.

Oh we tried NTUC but they didn't have the goodies, and Kandahar St's postphoned until the rain stops.

I guess this time

2007-05-08T21:50:00.000-07:00

it really is goodbye.

I have this sudden, really strong craving for pizza. I prefer pizza with the thin crust but am yet to try the new one at Pizza Hut. We just came back from Shop n Save where I wanted to get the instant kind [you just pop 'em into the oven] but I decided to try making my own instead. Ingredients couldn't be found there so tomorrow we might be heading over to NTUC or Giants to get them. Oh and tomorrow too, we might be going down to Kandahar to ask about the travel packages.

Busy day, tomorrow, huh? I like. :)

2007-05-08T20:16:00.000-07:00

My my, today was my first attempt at Jazz. The instructor was hot! And I loved the way she was so energetic, like a breath of fresh air. Damn I probably sound gay but never [you] mind. She can lift her leg up really high...

I tried, mind you, I did. And I was pretty sure my leg was up high because I could really feel the stretch but when I peeked over my shoulder it didn't seem as high. Bleargh.

But not to worry! I won't be discouraged and tomorrow will be my first ever attempt at Pilates. Right back at ya, sugar!

And now I'm trying to convince Xq to pick it up again with me. :D

Of randomness

2007-05-07T23:40:00.000-07:00

My hands they're small, I know,
but they're not yours,
they are my own and
I am never broken.

There's still a long way to go before we get to that "best friends" status, I think. When speaking to someone recently he mentioned something like he's lost his first love to another guy, but he doesn't want to lose her altogether. Which is why he's trying to make ammends to the friendship now. And as he quoted, from Spiderman 3 and from the gorgeous girl who tried-to-lay-one-on-him, the hardest thing for her to do now is to forgive herself.

On a different note, I think I've lost sight of alot of things about myself. Or I always take things for granted. Hell, I can't remember the last time I prayed. [Pardon the pun.] Well, okay, I can, but that's not my point. And that makes me very sad because I really don't want to get used to doing something that I initially didn't think was okay. For some things, it isn't a simple matter of being open-minded or accepting. Sometimes it's hard to maintain your stance.

But how do you know what's right anymore? It's not as though the world is simply in black and white anymore, more likely it's a spectrum of grays.

Then again, when I moan about all these, I'm reminded of a childhood fable that says something about how a prince was plucked out of his castle and exposed to the most sinful and supposedly enjoyable lifestyle filled with decadance and such but he still remained pure and upright without faltering because he knew who he was and his own standing. So if he could do it, so can I!

I used to think that it was a good thing that my mom was so strict on my dressing and curfews and stuff because if she wasn't, I'd probably go crazy; drunk on the freedom. Then I'd realize that there really isn't anything stopping me from doing the nasty. Just because my mom said so doesn't mean I can't rebel. It's my own decision to not do the nasty. Then I feel a little smug, a little happy of the fact that perhaps, it's just not ME to do all that. That maybe I'm not so bad, after all.

So maybe, just maybe the world isn't so bleak as to be a mere spectrum of grays. Maybe it might have some lightness and colour in it.

2007-05-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was Hasyim's birthday. Hope he had fun. :) It seems really sad - pathetic, even - that I actually vomitted after trying to surprise him, haha, but oh well. Makes for an unforgettable experience, I must say. We had an early dinner at Swensens at about 4pm but that was enough to last us until this morning. But you know, Swensens now has a menu for local cuisine which is unbelievably overpriced [in our opinion].

I am bored. I think I'll be going for Amore later, before the meeting. Maybe. It's time to get recharged and revived! :)

I like the picture above. I've taken to copyrighting my images because too many people have been stealing without crediting. Hmmph! I like the fact that I managed to crop the borders and I like the fact that the watermark looks embedded in the picture. :D

And I try, try try to be happy.

I wish.

2007-05-05T19:30:00.000-07:00

You wanna know why I look sad and lonely.
You wanna know why I can barely talk, well,
It's not your fault so let me say I'm sorry,
For making you the reason for my fall.

I wish that I could be like I was before.
I was ridin high but now I'm feelin so low.
I wish that you could make my world feel better,
And take away the hurt so I won't be so far gone.

2007-05-05T19:00:00.000-07:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Last Request.

2007-05-04T19:29:00.000-07:00

I just want you to know something, is that alright?
Baby let's get closer, tonight.

So yesterday we met up at Marina Square and watched Spiderman 3 there. Not a bad movie. And I still don't understand why everyone's crazy over Harry! I mean, yeah, he's cute but Pete's so much more lovable, haha.

Zibs was da lady that night. When we met her she was cutting and perming her hair because of a promotion at Monsoon and I must say, she looks great. Love the waves in her hair. After the movie, the others decided to get their eyebrows done and I helped XQ colour hers later on - a fact which I am very proud of, seeing how I have such unsteady hands! Luckily I didn't end up scribbling on her face, hehe.

Hasyim joined us for dinner at Sakura because he was in the area. Sakura rocks simply because it's both halal and it caters for vegetarians. :D Later, the rest went for dessert at this incredible place [I don't know how incredible it is because I haven't tried it but everyone insists it's that good] because they had 50% off after 10pm but I had to go home cause it was getting late and some of us still have curfewwss.

Grant my last request and just let me hold you,
don't shrug your shoulders,
Lay down beside me.

Bad to the bone.

2007-05-02T11:34:00.000-07:00

On the day I was born, the nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder, at the joy they had found.

The head nurse spoke up, and she said leave this one alone
She could tell right away, that I was bad to the bone.

Ismail comes over to our house every morning. My mom just kidnapped him - she took him with her while running some errands, haha.

I hope Spiderman 3 doesn't have a sad ending. I mean, c'monn - sometimes you want to watch something simply for the entertainment factor, something which reignites your faith.

OH WAIT! The Hills have Eyes 2 is R21! And I can't believe I unknowingly watched it. Hahaha it's the goriest movie I have ever seen. And I remember while watching the movie, Hasyim commented that ratings are getting less and less censorious and we didn't realize it until much much later. No, there wasn't a sex scene but there was a horrible horrible rape scene and alot of bloodshed. But it's still a good movie so brace yourself and sneak in. ;)

Baby don't go.

2007-05-01T14:01:00.000-07:00

We had lunch together at Bedok Corner today! I had delicious nasi ayam penyet and the four of us split a carrot cake. Fat-o-mania. Oh my mom goes crazy playing the thumb game - she'll put her thumb up after everyone else [I put my thumb up sloowwwllyyy] and why? [Because I'm ollldddd.] Sucha cheat. Sigh. Haha!

Anyway, below are some random pictures which I've only just uploaded into the computer. Now that exams are over, I'm free as a bird so hurray! I tried understanding some online Photoshop tutorials but to no avail so umm yeah.

A dawn is breaking, a light shining through.
You're barely waking and I'm tangled up in you.

Those were taken in the wee hours of the morning, before an exam. It's funny - I hate waking up early but when I do make the effort to, I am captivated by the pretty colours in the sky and I always tell myself that I have to wake up early again to see it but it never happens. Trust me, it never happens.

Ooh did I mention I cut my hair? It's really short now, around my ears. I've never been a fan of long hair, have I? Correction: I've never been a fan of waiting for my hair to grow out.

Tomorrow will be another busy day with the ladies! Spidey, here we come....

I'll cover you.

2007-05-01T01:39:00.000-07:00

Oh my sleeping child, the world so wild
But you've built your own paradise.

10 weird things about me.

2007-04-30T22:26:00.000-07:00

As tagged by Fadzli.

1. I cannot sleep peacefully if the light is switched on. You can ask my sisters how many quarrels we've had because my oldest sister cannot sleep in complete darkness.

2. I used to mimick first the moves and stunts of Power Rangers, then Xena the Warrior Princess and later Buffy the Vampire slayer. After every episode, I'd practice doing cartwheels and flying kicks. [Bet I could take you down easy.]

3. I dance like crazy in my room. I can lock myself up, press the button and dance until every side of my body aches.

4. I cannot wear even a sleeveless shirt out. I don't know why. I just feel really uncomfortable. I'm okay with bearing my legs but umm, sleeveless is a no-no.

5. I have five tiny moles in a row across my right knee.

6. I have a dimple in my left cheek and I can raise my left eyebrow.

8. I think alot of people are very lovable. There's just something, some unique spark about everyone, even the nastiest of nasty.

9. I cannot tolerate animal abuse. If I see a group of thugs abusing a poor innocent creature, I'll walk up to them and tell them off.

10. I remember song lyrics very easily. I used to dislike certain songs because I disagree with the words.

Who I want to tag? Well, I doubt anyone reads my blog anyway, so.. whoever wants to. Haha.

Oh Shahira, Shahira.

2007-04-28T20:03:00.000-07:00

Ripped these pictures from Nurul's blog. Remember the bellydancing workshop I attended some time back? Yepp. Can you spot me? I've got a pink shawl tied around my hips, beside Nurul herself! Anyway, support her - she's having a few more workshops at Groove. :) It was really really alot of fun hanging out with just girls and going crazy.
Ditto for this one. Groove has lovely studios by the way, doesn't it? When I entered, I was thinking happily to myself, "Boy have I missed this!" and although the one in school is bigger, this one felt like alot cozier. Must have been the girls. ;) And damn, I really want to continue Bellydance and take it up for real, not simply one workshop because well, the moves are hot. The isolation techniques and stuff. Of course, I can't expect to simply attend the class, listen to the teacher and be able to do it but I think I'll be able to, with lotsa lotsa practice! Hehe.

About the entire holiday business, I still don't have an idea where we're headed. Mom suggested Morocco but with so many tours out there, we're really spoilt for choice. It'll either be in May or July cause she wants to beat the school-holidays crowd.

I'd rather spend my days with you

2007-04-23T22:55:00.000-07:00

I suddenly have a craving for a large mug of milky hot chocolate. I think it has to do with my experience just now, before sitting for the paper.

It rained so so so heavily and they just had to choose Sheares Hall, which requires you to climb up a hill before getting there and no, there is no shelter. So we braced ourselves under a tiny umbrella which bravely tried to shield us but, we're all big girls here, so... yeah. Haha.

But there was a lady who was so sweet, she actually went out of her way to accompany me to the bus stop using her umbrella before turning back and going to her own bus stop which was in the opposite direction. I was really really touched. (: So lady, chances are, you probably won't read this but again, thank you.

I was drenched. Pretty much completely. But thank goodness for Xq! She stays there and was so sweet, lent me a dry t-shirt and her sweater. :D But Sheares Hall looks really cosy by the way! If I ever apply, I'll definately choose there. Xq would be right next door anyway. :D But throughout the paper I was shivering like crazy and I even wrote down how cold I was, at different intervals, to show the differences in my handwriting as the minutes ticked. It was brain-freeze. I tried blowing on my fingers, sitting on them, sticking them under my shirt but no luck.

Oh boy. You can bet it was a paper that was not well done.

A new life she has found.

2007-04-22T20:24:00.000-07:00

Face down in the dirt she said "This doesn't hurt,"
She said "I've finally had enough."

What dramatic words, huh? Haha. Listening to the radio gets me excited especially when a song that I especially love comes on air. Earlier today I went to the beach with Hasyim, albeit only for a few hours. Breathed in the salty sea air and we just sat there and talked. Cheered me up real good. :)

It's funny that I am really looking forward to going on an exchange programme because I feel like I really need a break. I'll reiterate once more that I can't wait [can't wait, can't wait, can't wait!] to go overseas.

I need a change of environment and if I'm lucky enough that it comes in the form of an overseas trip, then damn well I should take full advantage of it, yes?

I see what's going down.

Ransom Letter

2007-04-22T13:13:00.000-07:00

So you stole my heart,
& wrote me a ransom letter,
demanding that I treat you better
but I never got it back.

..You're the best girl that I ever had,
I never wanna lose you so - ...

Look at them! So engrossed in watching tv. It was a funny conversation they had initially because Ana doesn't understand movies so Noreen had to keep explaining everything to her. In the end Ana went upstairs because I think she gave up trying to understand and Noreen didn't want to be downstairs alone so she kept calling Ana and promising to explain every single thing to her. Haha and when I delivered that message to Ana, she had just come out of the toilet and was asking innocently "Boa [she calls Noreen Boa, don't ask why] will explain to me?" Haha. And I was nice enough to bake pizza for them and get them drinks on the rocks. Kay fine, it was just another attempt to avoid studying. Sorry girls, but it wasn't out of pure sisterly love. =P.

First picture above is the view from my room, from the balcony. It looks good, doesn't it? :) In the second one, that's the rose bush my mom is so proud of. The seeds came from the rose bush that was planted in someone else's garden by my late grandmother so I guess it holds special meaning to her. :) Ask her how many buds and flowers there are, haha.

And okaayy, Gandos just tried to jump up on this particular table but she missed. So cute. :D

The good times.

2007-04-22T03:11:00.000-07:00

3.11am alvin says:
By the way, why do you want to ride a horse?

alvin says:
Think you must be too bored.

[ira] says:
I like horses

alvin says:
Does it strike you that maybe they don't like people riding them?

[ira] says:
Yeah, I've wondered. Felt bad for them before.

alvin says:
Do you ride on someone if you like him?

alvin says:
I mean other than the conventional way, haha.

Hahaha, just had to post that. He seems really different now. According to him, he's just "detached". I guess sometimes you need friends who you really talk to, who you were once close to, to remind you to take things easy because they remind you of happier, happier times. :)

No you're not the good kind.

Lessons learnt.

2007-04-22T02:33:00.000-07:00

2.53am: I guess I've learnt the hard way that having many people read your blog isn't a good thing. I've never been a fan of "it's my journal, I can say whatever I want and I didn't ask your sorry-ass to read it" which has led me to practice a lot of diplomacy in the words I say and to not blog carelessly. Because, after all, blogging is public. Read by anyone [and hey, almost everyone].

The funny thing is that when I blog with tact, the attacks turn personal. Vicious, nasty comments based on untruths. And after having affected me for so long... I've decided not to bother about it anymore. My only mistake was to let it mess with me for as long as it did.

But hey, I've learnt. This entire fiasco has been going on for as long as it did and my stand now? I don't have to justify myself to you when you won't stop to listen to me.

Indifference does go a long way. And that's going to be me to you. I should have been strong enough to ignore spitefulness before, I hope I am now.

Cause my mama taught me better than that - I'm a survivor.

In a little while...

2007-04-21T23:38:00.000-07:00

In a little while, I'll still be thinking about you.

The funny thing is that, while doing readings on Education, I started thinking about a particular welfare organization and the education system there and thinking of how it might be improved upon. And I would write a letter to the SG [haha! the SG's my dad :P] and include quotes by LKY then I get all distracted and overly ambitious and start drawing up grand plans in my head before I remember that that's not what I'm supposed to be doing.

Fly the stars and stripes, America!

Kay, that was so random.

- because I'm high.

2007-04-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

Beautiful dawn,
light up the shores for me.

Virgin entry, yay. So.. why the change? Because I wanted to include a comments field [it's at the bottom of each post] and for some very strange reason, I couldn't do so in the previous layout so I figured a fresh beginning was due. And this time, the comments are moderated so you guys better play nice.

I'm not gonna be deleting the old blog though, and not having to do so is quite a relief because I do like the pictures and certain entries there.

I'm at campus, Central Library, level 3 right now. Everyone's studying really hard and I almost feel guilty to be blogging. Almost. But not quite. Haha!

I have no idea why I'm so high but it's all good.

Oh, forgot to add that I've been putting on alot of weight. Well I don't really have to add that because I figure you'd be able to tell once you see me, lol. I think it's all the coffee and milo [condensed milk, anyone?] I've been drinking. Amore's been postponed until next month at least because if I'm going overseas, why start on a monthly program now, right?

Speaking of going overseas, I can't wait! I want to go for as long as possible and have a good long break from all things mundane and weary.

Well, okay. Goodbye. (:

Promise me tomorrow starts with you.